|
scene_epidemic7
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Robert
Country: United States
State: Texas
Metro: Houston
Birthday: 4/10/1986
Interests: I don't have interests. I have thoroughly enjoyable (and probably unhealthy) obsessions. These include music, the webcomic Questionable Content, the Dune saga by Frank Herbert and the philosophies contained therein, the people I count among my closest friends, and the life of a college student.
Expertise: I am an expert at being a hard-working, hard-playing college student. That and being a music nerd.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  LikeAnyYouKnow
Yahoo:  laybyvictim827
Member Since:
5/17/2003
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| Where has the time gone?
In a week, I'll register for my last semester at Austin College. I remember the good old days (when I would actually blog on a daily basis), anticipating this exciting period in my life. And don't get me wrong, it has been an exciting time. It's also been pretty damn rough at times. Whenever I find myself confronted by feelings of inadequacy, I try to call to mind the fact that I've survived three years at Austin College. For those who have never experienced the social panopticon that is life at AC, trust me: getting through one's time here is a fucking ordeal. There are people who will judge you without knowing anything about you (in some cases, not even your name) and think nothing of it. On the other hand, there are also people who will regard you with fairness and attempt to find your essence, and love it. And the former category helps me appreciate the latter.
Homecoming was this weekend. We had an excellent turnout, including several alumni from the 1980's. They were all generally awesome people, and I hope to see them again. I'm glad the crunch party season is over. The past few weeks have been rather intense. It'll be nice to attempt to be a good student again.
This song puts me at peace.
I won't run far
I can always be found
If you need me
I can always be found
If you want me to stay
I will stay by your side
I won't run far
I can always be found
I will stay by your side
And I want you to find me
So I will stay by your side
If you need me
I can always be found
I won't run far
I can always be found
| | |
| "There is no way out when you build a stubborn shell that shields from any help."
-dredg
That's kind of what I'm working with now.
It never ceases to amaze me how much listening to this album makes sense. It really does put everything into perspective.
That's it.
Sorry (not really) for the anticlimax, but I expected to get more out of this entry than I did. I guess it just sputtered and died.
Things don't feel normal. This could be what Riverside meant by "out of myself" and "second life syndrome". it's like i'm just going through the motions and not really participating in my life. perhaps it's the fear. i'm fast approaching the point where real life will be imminent. the prospect of impending responsibility really is quite terrifying. i'm afraid of failure. there are other things going on too. i'm definitely getting tired of the whole half-assing everything. i wonder at which point i started coasting and not having any real ambitions. i don't even know if i want to do the classics thing anymore. i really don't want to DO anything. unfortunately our culture dosn't exactly permit one to just "be". i've seen a good film recently. it's Dogville. a film by lars von trier. i'm not even writing well. when will this degeneration end?
STOP.
just stop.
| | |
| I'm currently paying for all the time I borrowed over the semester.
There is no escape.
| | |
| It would be bad form and severe breaking of the fourth wall (Which brings an interesting point to mind, does it not? Do bloggers write so that: A) Specific, known people will read them, B) For anonymus strangers (goddamned voyeurs) or C) for no-one at all, just an electronic inner monologue? And is there even such a thing as a fourth-wall in blogging, or is it assumed?) to comment on my long absence from the blogosphere. It's too bad I just did so, so might as well address it. A friend of mine has found himself in a similar situation: it has been a crazy 2-and-a-half months, o has it ever, but not a lot has actually happened. And most of what has actually happened is not fit for the inter-webs. Thus, I don't really have all that much to say.
I went to a party over the weekend. That in and of itself should not be seen as any real surprise. And it was by no means the only partying I did this weekend. But this one was different. One thing I admired about the AC social life is its openness, its freedom and its potential for wide-reaching possibilities. But this one was different. I didn't really know all that many people there, so I would spend a long time just wandering and hoping to run into someone I knew, only to have about a minute (at most) of inane small-talk before I was set on my way again. The staff of the venue were intrusive in upholding the law (to be expected, but still unfamiliar). In short, everything about an AC party that normally is inviting and liberating was shut-off, and binding. In fact there was one point where I was in a clearing in the middle of a mass of bodies, and had to make several attempts to find a way to move elsewhere. It's cruelly ironic that I went to this party attempting to deviate from my confining routine (I've found lately that the routine I've set myself into is becoming rather boring. Therefore I am attempting to introduce new elements into it, so as to make it vibrant again), and ended up feeling just as trapped, if not more. I did get to have a few nice chats here and there but altogether it was an unfulfulfilling experience.
In other news, my sophomore slump went on a bit longer than I would have liked. Next semester will be a time of discipline and not-fucking-up.
That's it.
| | |
|
